Time Pass

Tarzan Joke
Tarzan and Jane are walking in the Jungle when suddenly Tarzan notices a boat being
attacked by a crocodile. Tarzan runs to the river, jumps into the water and wrestles the
crocodile until it lets go of the boat.
Unfortunately, in the struggle Tarzan Loin cloth is ripped off. When he leaves the water
Jane sees his 20-inch penis.
“Why Tarzan your penis!” she exclaims.
Seeing the shock on Jane’s face Tarzan replies, “Jane no worry. It always shrinks in cold
water.”

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Very Funny : How to recruit the right person for the job?

2009-03-03T04:58:00.000-08:00

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in The room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze The situation.

If they are counting the Bricks. Put them in the accounts Department.

If they are recounting them..Put them in auditing .....

If they have messed up the Whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the Bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the Bricks at each other. Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping. Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks Into pieces. Put them in information Technology.

If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried Different combination, yet Not a brick has Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for The day.. Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the Window. Put them on strategic Planning.

And then last but not least. If they are talking to each Other and not a single brick Has been Moved. Congratulate them and put them In top management.

OH PLEASE !........ THAT WAS JUST A JOKE ...!!!!

History Mystery - Abraham Lincoln And John F. Kennedy

2009-03-03T04:40:00.000-08:00

DID YOUR HISTORY TEACHER INCLUDE THIS IN THE LESSON TAUGHT!! Read on!!
History Mystery.

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House..

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday .
Both Presidents were shot in the head

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939..

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause: Hey, this is one history lesson most people probably will not mind reading!

WHO FIGURED THIS OUT?

INCREDIBLE
1) Fold a NEW PINK $20 bill in half...

2) Fold again, taking care to fold it exactly as below

3) Fold the other end, exactly as before

4) Now, simply turn it over...

What a coincidence! A simple geometric fold creates a catastrophic premonition printed on all $20 bills!!!
COINCIDENCE? YOU DECIDE

As if that wasn't enough. Here is what you've seen...

Firstly The Pentagon on fire....

Then The Twin Towers.

...And now .. look at this!

TRIPLE COINCIDENCE ON A SIMPLE $20 BILL
It gets even better!!
9 + 11=$20!!

Discover A Woman!

2008-10-09T02:00:00.000-07:00

Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America.
Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan.
Very hot, wise and beautiful !!!!!!!!!

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia.
Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England.
With a glorious past but no future.

After 70, they become Siberia.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Funny Hindi Jokes

2008-03-07T22:47:00.000-08:00

So what is Hindi jokes really all about? The following report includes some fascinating information about Hindi jokes--info you can use, not just the old stuff they used to tell you.

If you find yourself confused by what you've read to this point, don't despair. Everything should be crystal clear by the time you finish.

papa::beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi hain
Son:: kya baat karte ho pappa, sub check kar laya hu

Is there really any information about Hindi jokes that is nonessential? We all see things from different angles, so something relatively insignificant to one may be crucial to another.

Time Pass Quote & Time Pass Jokes

2008-02-18T22:59:00.000-08:00

Imagine the next time you join a discussion about Time Pass Quote & Time Pass Jokes. When you start sharing the fascinating Time Pass Quote & Time Pass Jokes facts below, your friends will be absolutely amazed.

Those of you not familiar with the latest on Time Pass Quote & Time Pass Jokes now have at least a basic understanding. But there's more to come.

Time Pass Quote-
Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass. - French Proverb

Timepass Short Jokes

(1) An Ant saw strawberry juice & shouted: “Aaaah at last I visited the red sea!!!!”

(2) Two cockroaches were admitted in ICU,

The first Cockroach asked: “Raid???”

The second Cockroach replied: “No, Shoe!!!”

(3) An NRI sent a blank sms to his wife, why?

He didn’t want to talk to her!!!

(4) A man hit his brand new car in to the wall, why?

He wanted to test whether the airbags are working!!!

(5) Policeman caught a drunk man & asked: “Why your eyes are red?”,

The drunk man replied: “Actually i drunk tomato sauce while i was sleeping!!!”

(6) Two mad people were fighting on motorcycle, why?

They were arguing about ‘who will sit near the window’!!!

Those who only know one or two facts about Time Pass Quote & Time Pass Jokes can be confused by misleading information. The best way to help those who are misled is to gently correct them with the truths you're learning here.

time-pass with your dog

2008-01-26T06:14:00.001-08:00

They aren't called man's best friend for nothing! Having a dog can lengthen your life, lower your stress levels and just generally improve your quality of life.
Playing together is an important part of being together and having a happy, healthy dog. One thing pet behaviourists agree on is how important it is to play regularyl together. Aside from the bonding it encourages, it will also strengthen the understanding and respect between you and your pet.
There are plenty of ways you can play with your dog. Some games might even have the added benefit of teaching your beloved pet a new skill, or develop another. All you need is some imagination, some time and of course treats always help too!
One of the timeless classics is 'fetch'. This is a wonderful way to teach your dog to follow directions and play a game which does not involve too much from you. With some practice you can even lie back in the sun and throw a ball (or any object) for your pet to return. Teaching your pet to fetch can test the patience of even the most patient owner! If you are serious about it most dogs can learn to participate in this simple game.
You will want to start off with one of your dogs favorite toys, and a treat. Practicing the 'drop it' command first will help ! Used together this can be a good way to teach your dog. Throw the item and when the dog brings it baack to you - shower him with praise. He will get the idea after a while.
It's best to try these things in small sessions. Fifteen minutes a day of practicing the 'fetch' command and your dog should be able to get it right.
There are other ways you can play with your dog which arent as frustrating as the fetch game.
Games which encourage tracking and seeking out items are good for your pet too. You can hide a treat and then practice the sit command. On your command the dog goes and seeks out the treat you have hidden. Hide many treats and encourage them to find the treats as quickly as they can!
Every owner has special games that they play with their dogs. There are all kinds of vairations on many of the tried and tested games. You will have many of your own special games that you play together, just keep creative and remember that your dog is a puppy inside forever - they love to play with you!
Dogs are social creatures and regular game playing can bring out the best in your dog. There's nothing like a wagging tail to put a smile on your face!
Steve is the owner of All My Puppies Online and also has a casino review website at All Best Bets Visit his blog at Doggie Blog

The strongest vypuchivanie eye.

2008-01-19T23:38:00.001-08:00

The strongest vypuchivanie eye.It's unbelievable. Scary eyes, horrible eyes, horror eyes.

Why INDIA is in trouble?

2008-01-19T23:36:00.000-08:00

Why INDIA is in trouble?

Population: 100 crore
9 crore retired
30 crore in state Govt
17 crore in central Govt
(Both Category
don't work)
1 crore IT professional (don't work for India)
25 crore in school
1 crore r under 5 years
15 crore unemployed
1.2 crore u can find anytime in hospitals
Statistics says u find 79,99,998 people anytime in jail
The Balance two are U & Me.

U are busy " checking Mails /sending fwds.. "..!!

HOW CAN I HANDLE INDIA alone?

Software Professionals should know !

2008-01-19T23:33:00.000-08:00

Something All Software Professionals should know

Six software professionals under the age of 33 have died and 2 top executives from renowned software companies have become paralysed because of stress-related heart ailments in the last six months in Chennai , says a study by Mitran Foundation, a Bangalore-based voluntary association of practising doctors.

" All the six who died, and the two who became invalid, had no family history of heart attacks or any pre-history of heart ailments or paralysis. They were all in their prime, between 27 and 33 years, and handled challenging projects at work in their respective companies. They worked long and continuous hours. The end struck them very suddenly, and it looked as if their hearts refused to take any more stress ," said Dr Dwarakanath, director of Mitran Foundation, who has studied stress components in 40 software companies in Chennai during the last six months.

The study, conducted at a cost of Rs 45 lakhs, covered more than 4,000 software professionals from 80 companies who were in service for a minimum of three years. The email responses were scientifically tabulated and the findings were ready in 2002. Dr Dwarakanath, who was the late Dhirubhai Ambani's personal stress management consultant, said questionnaires extracting every minute detail were sent to the respondents. The personal background, family history and personal characteristics of these individuals were assessed and it was found that the stress in these professionals was only due to work pressure. All other factors were eliminated.

" Our study confirmed that the number of suicides, divorces, heart ailments, BP and diabetes patients and mental depression are the highest in the software industry. The fancy salaries of software professionals are no longer something to rejoice about ," Dr Dwarakanath said.
"We found that the software industry has simply no routine. Deadlines hang before them and every day they chase new problems. During weekends more than 60 per cent of the vehicles are found parked in the office complexes. There is no physical exercise and new food habits favoured by pizza culture fuel the problem. Cervical spondilitis and wrist problems due to uncomfortable handling of the computer mouse, eye problems and discomfort in bowel movements are common.
The stress for couples where both are employed in the IT industry is the worst. The simple step of taking time off from work for three months allowed an IT couple wanting a child for years to conceive one," Dr Dwarakanath said.

M.T.R. Venukopalan, senior training coordinator, Covansys India, acknowledged that IT professionals were the most stressed individuals. "Even if the company sponsors a movie or self-care lecture, not many attend them," he said. Jyothsana, a travel coordinator for Temenos India Pvt Ltd, expressed concern for the young employees who complain of back and knee pains. She acknowledged that IT professionals require a specific eating and physical exercise routine to ease their stress. "Our lives are becoming mechanical, guided only by deadlines ," she said.

So think again if you are staying late in the office regularly. Think again about your family. Think again about your social life and health.

Work is essential. Your contribution to the goal should be great.
But, please don't make it a habit to stay late .

Don't skip your Break Fast /Lunch/Dinner. None of these are equated by Pizza, Biscuits / Wafers / Chat items.

results of inter caste marriages!

2008-01-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

a funny cartoon!

2008-01-19T23:22:00.000-08:00

Letter to Bill Gates by Banta Singh

2008-01-19T23:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh. We have
bought a computer for
our home and we found problems, which I want to bring
to your notice.

After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail

account and whenever
we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column,
only ****** appears,
but
in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears,
but we face this
problem only in password field. We checked with
hardware vendor Santa Singh
and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open
the e-mail account with password *****. I request you
to check this as we
ourselves do not know what the password is.

We are unable to enter anything after we click the
shut down button.

There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button.

We request you to
check this.

We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend
clicked 'run' has ran
upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to
sit so that we can
click
that by sitting.

One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in
system? As I find only
're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

Also there is 'Find' button but it is not working
properly. My wife lost
the
door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with
this 'find', but
unable
to trace. Is it a bug??

Thanks,
Banta Singh

Women as explained by engineers!

2008-01-19T23:14:00.000-08:00

Women as described by engineers. Girls, please don't mind.

Difference between appraisal and resignation

2008-01-19T23:03:00.000-08:00

A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"

Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation? "

Trainee: "Yes I do"

Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"

Comparison study : Appraisal and Resignation

**********
In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.

In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.

**********
In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.

In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.

**********

During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.

During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.

**********

There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.

There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.

**********

Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign ... !!!"

interesting pictures

2008-01-19T22:26:00.000-08:00

Here are some interesting pictures. Enjoy these nice photographs.

Relax Relax Relax!

2008-01-19T22:09:00.000-08:00

Relax………………………………………….. Have a Seat
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